why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Drake has all the answers
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
