She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
