I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize