The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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