Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
