Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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