Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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