Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize