someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
