Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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