everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
