Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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