I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
