her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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