Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
