the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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