you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
