Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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