So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize