I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
