Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
