I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he puts the penis in happiness.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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