Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
