i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
