i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
