I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
