I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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