My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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