D3 body, D1 cock
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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