i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
