I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
