There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize
