I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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