just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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