he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
