Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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