what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
