no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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