i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
