I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
