Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
