I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
