i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
