i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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