all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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