Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
