I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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