I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
