she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
