Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
