Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
two words...techno handjob
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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