Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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