Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
