There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no, he came in my armpit
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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