I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
