First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
