She just used a chaser for red wine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
