maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
