Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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